Andrew Biss
Full Length Plays
3M/5F Approx. 90 minutes
Leah’s just won the lottery in what she describes as “the biggest single, one-time cash haul in this here dirt-poor, shitty state’s history!” But, rather than living the highlife, Leah decides to split the winnings among her three daughters, asking only for a deathbed-style declaration of love in return. When her youngest daughter, Patina, scoffs at the idea, Leah disowns her with vitriolic fury. Bestowing instead the prize money upon her two eldest daughters, her dreams of a pampered retirement in the arms of her offspring for herself and her close companion, Pearl, seem guaranteed. Things soon turn sour, however, as long-held grievances and newfound wealth lead to familial treachery, violence and death.
Greed, lust, drugs, and Capodimonte combust in this low-rent, Southern fried twist on a literary classic.
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The End of the World
5M/3F Approx. 90 minutes
Valentine’s parents have decided that the time has come at last for their son to make his own way in the world. Valentine, accustomed to a life of cosseted seclusion, isn’t so keen on the idea. But go he must, and soon he finds himself venturing forth into the vast world beyond. His new adventure is soon drawn to a halt, however, when he is mugged at gunpoint. Frightened and exhausted, he seeks shelter at a bed and breakfast establishment run by the dour Mrs. Anna. Here Valentine encounters a Bosnian woman with a hole where her stomach used to be, an American entrepreneur with a scheme to implant televisions into people’s heads, and a Catholic priest who attempts to lure him down inside a kitchen sink. And then things start getting strange…
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skiz/uhm
1M/3F Approx. 90 minutes
Horatio Higgins recently lost his job. He also lost his parents, so he claims, though the precise cause of their demise remains something of an enigma. Living alone in his tiny flat, Horatio’s sense of isolation is mitigated only by a near-continual dialogue with himself and by the companionship of what he affectionately describes as “my wife.”
Things change, however, when he encounters a sweet, impressionable young woman named Nore. As their relationship lurches unsteadily forward, Horatio finds himself struggling against a riptide of conflicting realities that he is ill-equipped to cope with until events at last overtake him and a new yet oddly familiar reality emerges.
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Kitchen Sink Drama
2M/2F Approx. 90 minutes
Elaine Wavering has tired of life. What started as an uphill battle has now devolved into a seemingly endless repetition of stagnant middle-class routine. On one particular morning, however, her regimented husband, Graham, confesses – under pressure – to having experienced a homoerotic dream the previous night, throwing her neat and tidy, albeit oppressive existence into complete disarray. Simultaneously, a rupture in the waste-disposal unit of their kitchen sink inadvertently leads to a shocking and entirely unexpected unraveling of their marital house of cards.
Seeking solace and guidance from her semi-estranged sister, Joy, Elaine must now confront her life head on and make decisions that until now would have been unthinkable.
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Suburban Redux
3M/1F or 2M/2F Approx. 90 minutes
After thirty years of arid matrimony and suburban monotony, Mrs. Pennington-South’s only dream was that her son, Cuthbert, would break free of the cycle of upper-middle class inertia that had suffocated her. Raising him in the hope that he was homosexual, she soon begins dragging home potential suitors for tea – on this particular occasion a rather shy, awkward young man named Tristram. Cuthbert, however, finds he can no longer maintain his façade and at last confesses to his mother his guilty secret: his heterosexuality.
When Cuthbert leaves to meet Trixie, his new female friend, Mrs. Pennington-South – heartbroken but accepting – takes solace in the company of Tristram, and a mutual love of the arts soon leads to a new found friendship. After several weeks, however, Tristram’s feelings take on more amorous overtones, and a confession of love for a woman almost thirty years his senior sends Mrs. Pennington-South into a state of emotional turmoil. Her anxiety is further heightened by the unexpected arrival of Cuthbert, merrily announcing that he has brought Trixie home for an introduction, and of the “big news” they wish to impart.
Mrs. Pennington-South, mortified at having to face the reality of her son’s lifestyle choice, fearfully awaits the dreaded Trixie. Nothing, however, could have prepared her for what would come next.
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Lost in Fairyland
2M Approx. 80 minutes
Lost in Fairyland follows the burgeoning relationship between a loquacious rent boy and a less-than-typical john. Through their divergent approaches to life, the play takes a head-on look at the costs of defining ourselves through our sexuality, and asks what it really means to “fit in.”
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A Private Practise
3M/2F Approx. 70 minutes
Dr. Pecksniff, a most singular psychiatrist, is relishing the prospect of fleecing yet another unsuspecting troubled soul - on this occasion a gullible housewife with a crumbling self-image and a sizable nest egg. Seizing on her admittance of a penchant for romance novels, Pecksniff convinces his patient, Mrs. Flagg, of her imminent slide into moral turpitude, offering salvation through his own unique, very expensive (and battery-assisted) approach to mental health.
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Ordinary Decent People
(Five Acts of Urban Renewal)
Approx. 100 minutes
A collection of five thematically related darkly humorous one-act plays in which ordinary people find themselves in the most extraordinary circumstances.
The five plays are:
An Honest Mistake
1M/1F
Madge has long since surrendered herself to the verbal abuse doled out to her by her belligerent husband, Stan. On this particular evening, however, her fears of a rat beneath the floorboards, combined with her absent-mindedness, result in her dishing up Stan not only his evening meal – but also his just deserts!
A Familiar Face
2F
Two elderly women, old friends, meet up in a London café shortly after one them – Dora – has been widowed. As Dora's grief and anger intensifies, her good friend Eydie begins to suspect there may be more to her angst than the loss of a loved one. When Dora calmly removes from her shopping bag a large glass jar containing a human head, discussions over its mysterious identity, and how it came to be lodged in the cupboard under her stairs lead to some startling revelations.
A Slip of the Tongue
1M/1F
Miss Perkins, tired of the constant innuendos and sexual insinuations of her employer, Mr. Reams, has decided to hand in her notice. On this particular morning, however, Mr. Reams decides to take things one step further. Unfortunately, due to Miss Perkins’ nervous disposition and a telephone that rings at a disturbingly high pitch, he soon discovers he’s bitten off more than he can chew…or at least, one of them has.
An Embarrassing Odour
1M/1F
Ethel, a widowed pensioner, sits down one evening to tackle her daily crossword puzzle. Suddenly her tranquil world is turned upside down when a burglar enters her home believing it to be unoccupied. As Ethel vainly attempts to forge a relationship with the violent delinquent before her, his concerns lie only with getting his hands on her valuables…that and the unpleasant smell that fills the room. What is that smell?
A Stunning Confession
1M/1F
During an evening in front of the television a staid married couple suddenly find themselves having to confront a new reality.
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